Driving in India

I have wanted to write a piece on Driving in India for quite some time.  It really is something you have to see to believe. Anyone who complains about the traffic in Vancouver should come here for a day.  But why write something from scratch when you can get stuff off the internet. I found this piece and made a few of my own modifications.    Enjoy…

In India, do you drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. I find most people drive down the middle of two lanes, picking neither left nor right.

If you are going to drive in India, here are few rules to note:

1. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality.

2. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't get discouraged or underestimate yourself. Except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

3. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

4. Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. Drivers use their horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts) or just to mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.

5. Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Genghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop; his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are a greater threat.)


Unique to Indian traffic:

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi)

The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare.

Mopeds

The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac. It is not just for single drivers, families of up to four or five can be seen on one moped heading down the street. Mom, Dad and multiple kids stuffed into any spaces.

One Speed Bicycles

Almost always men, these guys pedal leisurely down the street on 50 year old bikes without any apparent concern to the traffic going on around them. Cars and buses pass by within inches and they act like they are the only ones on the road – and without helmets of course.

Speed Bumps

Why have traffic lights, the power is always going out any way and they would always never be working. Just put speed breakers everywhere - this is what they call them here. The speed breakers are bone jarring and between them and the pot holes, you have an idea why the traffic is always weaving in and out and constantly stop and go.

Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries ?